Let me answer your question. After that you can say whatever you want to say to me and I will sit here and take it if you like. Just let me get my point across. Okay? Good.
Everyone has problems. Issues, quirks, and irks that assault us every minute of every day. Right? I mean I’m no different. I am in the exact same situation as the person next to me. Sitting on the bus, standing in the elevator, waiting in the lobby. Right? Okay, not exactly the SAME situation, but you get what I mean.
Watch. That guy got to work late, she spilled her coffee on her self, his phone just dies, and her? Her skirt ripped. Yes. Everyone has those little things that get to them. You do. I do. We all do. So you ask me why I am so angry? Why I can’t be as good as she is? Or why it is so difficult for me to live to your standards?
Like I said earlier, everyone has problems. That is because there’s room for things to go wrong. Or “everything that can go wrong, will go wrong.” Murphy’s Law. In my case, this law seems to be more apparent because of what you did to me. When we first met, I was happy. I could survive the world. I could live. Then you pushed me. Which was okay to begin with, but you just kept going. Pushing and shoving me, preaching “be all that you can be.” I ended up doing everything. Everyday was packed. In order for it all to work, it had to be perfect. I had to live in perfection. If one thing didn’t fall through… everything else would go to hell. Yes… there was so much room for error, how could something NOT go wrong? When it did, you left.
You need to realize that falling that far will destroy anyone. I can’t cope with that in any other way than through anger. That’s why I’m frustrated, it’s my vice. It’s to distract myself from the constant buzz in my mind of all my failures. You don’t have to live with it. I guess that’s why you don’t understand.